The Sky

I've been preoccupied with weather this spring. There seems to be so much of it. Hardly a day goes by when the clouds do not thicken over wherever I am and the sky give forth some form of somethingorother - heavy wind, rain, snow, seems there is always something swooping or falling from over my head.

And most of the time I don't much like it.

This fact - this immutable, impersonal, non-negotiable fact, must be dealt with by changing my response to it since, for obvious reasons it can't be fixed on the other end. The weather will do what it will do and it will not change because anyone has had far too much of it, least of all me.

I remind myself that, no matter what, above the cloud and rain and wind, hail, frogs, leaves, branches, airplanes and whatever else the sky may be dropping on us earthbound creatures, there is always clear blue sky and sun - always.

I cannot see it and cannot feel it but must know it. Sun and blue sky are the constants, the rest changes daily. I suppose it is like faith of any kind. I know there is a higher benevolent force even when things are dropping on my head and messing up my hair and generally making me miserable for weeks, months or even years on end. I just find it difficult to remember that in a way meaningful enough to help me change how I feel about being stuck under the deluge.

I suppose this is all part of climate change. Summer never used to be like this and there are records to prove it. But it is hard to accept the results of reckless human behaviour as being partly my fault when I have only owned 2 cars for a total of 10 years of my life and really, have contributed comparitively little to the whole mess that is climate change. And then I think - that is true of everyone. Our innocence and culpability are both of such insignificant measure that really, no full blame can ever be laid on anyone and no full credit given either.

Knowing this does not make me sad but it does make me think that maybe we take these things on in ways that are not useful nor accurate in their assessment. It's another of those beautiful paradoxes - we are all guilty as a collective and we are all innocent as individuals.

How do we change that to make a meaningful difference?

I think we have to do it through the expression of individuality. We must show each other our different ways, share our thoughts and our fears and try to reach out to one another and ameliorate them. You cannot be responsible for everything - hell, you cannot really be responsible for anything so you must show the people around you the small ways in which you take responsibility or fear you are to blame or think you deserve credit so that they can show you their ways and we can all adopt the better and discard the fear that creates the worse.

We must all be honest with each other. Honesty tempered with compassion is one way to walk away from continuing to make these collective messes, I'm sure of that. Now the only question is how to learn not to resent the weather in a northern June - rainy and dreary and sad with the one true thing, sun and blue sky, hidden away thanks to the collective actions of our species driven by greed, ignorance and fear. That is a bigger challenge and I am working on it today.